In a world that encourages constant input, I’ve discovered a quiet challenge that has transformed the way I engage with others: forcing myself to simply listen. No commentary, no editorializing, no jumping in with answers. Just listening.
Here’s how it started: I set an internal timer during meetings. For the first five minutes, I won’t speak. At all. This forces me to fully listen. By not rushing to contribute, I start to focus on not just the words being said but also the body language, tone, and energy of the conversation.
The Power of Nonverbal Communication
Listening first and foremost, allows for nonverbal communication to take the driver’s seat. I am mindful of my facial expressions and physical responses, while also recognizing the energy and cues of the person talking. Energy levels shift when someone is speaking about something they deeply care about, and you can see that in their posture, eyes, and gestures.
The practice of holding back silences the internal chatter, too. I might miss important cues, if I was busy waiting for my turn to speak. Instead of formulating my response while the other person is talking, I’m freed to take it all in—words, feelings, expressions. It’s a true act of listening, and it builds trust. When you show someone they’re fully heard, they feel it.
A Simple Shift, A Powerful Outcome
I’ll admit, this wasn’t easy at first. I had to force myself not to jump in, especially when the conversation touched on something I had expertise in.
But the result? I gained deeper insights into the people around me and the topics at hand. By giving others space to talk first, I was able to contribute more thoughtfully when I finally did speak.
The Bottom Line
Here’s my quiet challenge to you: the next time you’re in a meeting, don’t speak for the first five minutes. Just listen. Without announcing it, without making it obvious—sit back and observe. You might be surprised by what you learn, both about others and yourself.
